


Better Be Home Soon

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 20:30:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6581071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasnt until they ended it that he realized how all of his feelings about</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Be Home Soon

**Author's Note:**

> This is another take on the Miami incident and the proposal. The title comes from my favorite Crowded House song.

CJ woke up crying, which was not unusual these days. Three weeks passed in her life and she functioned…somehow, she functioned. There were press briefings, some drinks with friends, even a State Dinner, and CJ functioned. Every morning at staff meetings, she fought not to look at him, but it was useless. He was all business until his eyes caught hers, and then she saw the pain there. After it happened, Josh became his shadow. Both he and CJ were afraid that Leo would drink because the situation was stressful and upsetting. The shadow trailing only lasted a few days…Josh backed off after Leo threatened to beat him senseless. So CJ enlisted Margaret’s help. She was used to his gruffness; it did not bother her a bit.

It was only 4:45 in the morning. If another hour had passed CJ could have went into the office, pretended that her work mattered to her right now. Nothing seemed to matter without him. She had been through this before; the sadness and nausea would eventually pass. When she saw him, the urge to burst into tears would only be fleeting. Someday they might even be able to have a conversation and laugh with one another. Soon she would date another man, though CJ knew that meeting men in her line of work was next to impossible. God, how had this happened? She and Leo were in love, but it all went to hell in Miami.

Once the press got wind, the whole relationship fell apart. To add to the pain of it all, CJ Cregg had a very public breakup of a very private relationship. The press still hounded them both…CJ never felt like cracking under pressure until now. She had to be professional about this; she was still a woman in a man’s world. There was no way she would ever cry in public.

The phone rang, startling her. Sadly, she prayed for a crisis. A distraction was just what she needed right now. CJ answered the phone without looking at the display.

“Yeah.”

“Did I wake you?” he asked.

“No, I don’t sleep much anymore. Was something blown up? Do you need me at the office now?”

“No.” Leo replied softly.

“Oh. Why are you calling me at 4:45 then? You do realize that it is 4:45 Leo? I should have been asleep.”

“But you weren’t.”

CJ sighed. They were both quiet for a while. She cleared her throat, sitting up in bed.

“I guess I am glad you called. There is a box here with some of your things. I’m going to have Josh drop it off for you.”

“Can we talk Claudia Jean?” he asked.

“We are talking.” She said.

“I mean really talk…there are things that need to be said.”

“Plenty was said in Miami.” CJ said in a cold tone.

Leo made a big mistake. The press found out about their love affair and instead of standing up like a man, saying what was in his heart, he hid behind the President’s agenda. He shot down CJ’s every attempt to make it public for two days. On the plane ride back to DC, everyone walked on eggshells. Unfortunately, the senior staff was in the middle of the relationship.

CJ walked into the conference room. Leo read files so she sat across from the table from him.

“Why don’t we just end this Leo?”

“What?”

He gave her the classic Leo look: glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, hazel eyes questioning.

“If you cannot tell the press about us then there is no point in continuing this.”

“CJ, you and I both know there are a million things in this administration that come before our personal lives.”

“That is a load of crap and you know it as well as I. The press knows, all we have to do is confirm it.”

“CJ…”

She held up her hand.

“I am not going around in circles with you anymore Leo. I refuse to hang in your closet like a pretty sweater…you like to admire it but God forbid you wore it out. I can't do it anymore.”

“I don’t get a say in this decision?” Leo asked.

“I believe you’ve said enough. I am so sorry.”

CJ fought back tears that rose in her throat. She took a deep breath.

“Don’t do this Claudia Jean.” He said as she went to the door. “I love you.”

She shook her head.

“Those are just words. Your actions are a clear contradiction of that. I need to move on with my life; with or without you.”

He was still talking but CJ walked out on him. That was the last conversation that was had on the subject.

“I would really appreciate if you did not call me anymore Leo.” She said. “Unless it is work related.” She said into the phone.

“Yeah. It was not supposed to be like this.”

“I know. Goodbye.”

CJ hung up the phone. Unable to control the flow, she crumbled into a ball of emotional disarray.

***

“It is going to pass; I'm telling you.” Josh said, coming into Toby’s office.

CJ was sitting on the couch.

“Good.” She said. “We need a real victory right now. Next week, Rosslyn.”

“How are you feeling?” Josh asked.

Toby looked up from his speech.

“Fine. Why?” CJ asked.

“I mean really.” Josh said.

“I said fine and I meant it. Please don’t fawn over me. I’ve ended relationships before Joshua.”

“Yeah, but its…”

“Josh, shut up.” Toby said, stealing a glance at CJ.

“Yeah. So Toby, we’ll talk later about the thing?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“OK. I have to talk to Sam.” Josh mumbled, walking out of the room.

Toby looked at CJ.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Now you're going to start?”

“You know that I care about you.”

“He called me a couple days ago…at 5am.”

Toby closed his eyes.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I don’t have much to say to him. Maybe I had too much to say.”

“You deserve your say CJ.”

“I don’t want to cry anymore. I certainly don’t want to cry in front of him.”

“Still, you have to let him know how you feel.”

CJ nodded.

“I still love him.” She said.

“You are afraid that if you talk to him, if you really let him tell you how he feels, he is going to talk you into coming back.”

It was neither a question nor a statement.

“I am in love with him Toby. A few weeks won't change that. I don’t even know if a few years will change it.”

“I don’t know why I am saying this…and I will deny it right after it comes from my mouth. If you love him then you need to be with him. Love doesn’t walk up to us everyday. If you desire it, please don’t walk away from it.”

“So its OK that he wants to keep me a secret?” CJ asked.

“No, that is not OK. He realized the error of his ways when you walked out on him. I know I would have.”

CJ got up and went to her office.

“CJ, you have flowers and messages.” Carol said.

“Did John Cross call?”

CJ was afraid to go into her office, afraid that Leo had gone overboard. She chastised herself…it was possible that the flowers were not from Leo. Their relationship was over and he would soon grow tired of fruitless attempts to woo her back. A knot formed in CJ’s stomach; she did not know if she would be happy or miserable on that day.

She walked into her office, saw the dozen peach roses and knew they were from Leo. CJ fed Gail and began to go through her messages in an effort to ignore them. They were beautiful, but just pretty to look at. They would die; nothing would come from their splendor except sadness. CJ read the card.

"Will you please have dinner with me tonight? Just as friends. L’

She picked up the phone and dialed his extension.

“Yeah?”

“Where?” she asked.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s CJ Leo. Where will we have dinner?”

“You want to have dinner?” Leo asked.

“Oh God, nevermind.”

She hung up the phone. Someone was playing games with her. The damn spin boys, well Josh, and probably Sam, were trying to get them back together. She stormed out of her office.

“Carol I’ll be right back.”

She walked into Josh’s office. He and Sam were eating sandwiches and watching MSNBC.

“Stay the hell out of it Joshua!” she exclaimed.

He looked at her with wide brown eyes.

“Whatever you're getting ready to flip on me about, I didn’t do it. I swear.”

“You did not send me flowers pretending to be Leo?” she asked.

“I would never do that.” Josh replied. “I swear CJ, it was not me.”

Sam looked at her.

“Was it you Spanky?”

“Even if it were, I wouldn’t admit it.” Sam said.

She looked at them both with anger and stormed out.

“Josh?” Sam asked.

“I didn’t do it Sam really. Did you man?”

“No. I guess we know Toby didn’t.”

“The President?” Josh asked.

Sam shrugged.

***

Leo was waiting on CJ’s couch when she came back into her office.

“I am sorry that I called you at all.” She said, sitting down at her desk.

“I sent the flowers.” Leo replied.

“Then why did you act ignorant when I called?”

“You caught me off guard CJ. I made reservations at 701, DC Coast, and Bella Trattoria. I’ll take you wherever you want to go…out in public.” He said.

“I just yelled at Josh.” She said.

“Why?”

“I thought he sent me the flowers. I thought that he and Sam were involved in some kind of conspiracy to get us back together.”

Leo shook his head.

“I sent the flowers. I don’t know what those two are up to.”

“Cancel all the reservations.” CJ said.

“Yeah. OK.”

Leo stood to go.

“I wish it didn’t have to…”

“I will have dinner with you tonight. We can meet at your suite and order in.” she said.

The smile that broke across his face made CJ weak in the knees.

“What time?” he asked.

“Eight, I guess. The flowers are beautiful, by the way.”

“I have an overwhelming desire to kiss you CJ. Even if its just your cheek…I need to put my arms around you.”

“Then you better get back to work, its not going to happen. No tricks tonight either; I just want to talk.”

Leo nodded, walking out.

***

“Are you still mad at me, or is it safe?” Josh stuck his head in CJ’s door at 6:15.

It was a slow news day; CJ put the lid on at 5:30. Tomorrow was take out the trash day…bring on the weekend!

“Come in here Josh. I have to apologize for this afternoon; the past several weeks have been stressful.”

“I know.” He leaned on the door as he closed it behind him. “I know that I’m just, you know me…but if you ever want to talk.”

“Breaking up is hard enough on its own. Breaking up in a suddenly public relationship has Cameron Crowe written all over it.”

Josh smiled.

“I was thinking a Nick Hornby novel.” Josh said. “I didn’t send you the flowers CJ; neither did Sam. We thought…”

“Leo sent the flowers. We are having dinner tonight, but I would appreciate if they stayed between us. I don’t know what will come of it. Probably nothing, but we have to talk eventually.”

Josh nodded. He wanted his two friends to get back together. It was not until they ended it that he realized how all of his feelings about love and having a decent relationship among the hustle and bustle were wrapped up in CJ and Leo. He was not the only one.

“It could still work out.” He said.

“Please don’t.” CJ replied. “I appreciate all of it, I do, but right now keeping my feet on the ground is a priority.”

She stood, shook dinner into Gail’s bowl, and grabbed her briefcase and purse.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Josh.” CJ turned and kissed him. “You really are sweet sometimes.”

“Thanks. Have a good night.”

CJ crossed her fingers and headed for the exit.

***

No one answered the door of suite as CJ knocked for the second time. She didn’t know where he was, maybe work held him up. Well, she was not going to stand around in an expensive Marc Jacobs dress waiting for him. She sighed, walking to the elevator.

“CJ!”

She turned and looked at Leo in his tuxedo. Oh God, he was wearing a tuxedo. He was also carrying a bottle of red wine. For some reason she could not move her feet.

“CJ?”

“Why do you have red wine?” she asked.

“Its for you. I’m sorry but you are going to have to drink the whole bottle. Is that alright?”

CJ found herself smiling, walking toward him.

“I’m going to kiss your cheek OK.” Leo said. “Please keep your knee on the ground.”

“OK.”

Leo kissed her cheek, his fingers lightly touching the bare flesh of her back. CJ closed her eyes and pulled away from him. She took the Cabernet from his hands.

“I’ll take that.” She said.

“Come in. Why are we standing in the hallway?”

CJ shrugged, following him into the suite. Candles were lit and it smelled faintly of freesia. CJ could not help but smile.

“This is very nice.” She said.

“I have dinner coming at nine. Lobster ravioli and shrimp cocktail. Should I have kept that a secret?”

“Dinner?” CJ asked. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Right. Sit, I’ll put on some music and open the wine.”

“Yeah. I should get started if I have to drink the whole bottle. I’m a bit out of practice. What music do you have?”

Leo poured the wine, handed it to her, and joined her on the couch.

“Whatever you want.” He said.

“Don’t be overindulgent Leo. Just push play.”

He did, and Marvin Gaye started singing Let’s Get It On. Maybe she spoke too soon. CJ sipped her wine.

“You look lovely.” He said.

“I like the tux. Lucky I didn’t show up in jeans and a tee shirt.”

Leo nodded.

“How is the wine?”

“Fantastic. Are we going to stare at each other and have topical conversation for 40 minutes until dinner arrives?” CJ asked.

“I am happy just for the conversation, if you want me to be honest.” Leo replied.

“I always want you to be honest Leo. We broke up, you cannot expect me to wax philosophical with you right now.”

“I disagree with that.” He said.

“Excuse me?”

“We did not break up, you dumped me CJ. I didn’t even get a chance to defend myself.”

“Defend yourself from what? How do you think you could justify your attitude?”

“I don’t want to fight tonight.” He said. “I just want to talk. That could be asking a lot from you, but I hope its not.”

CJ said nothing. She accepted his dinner invitation, telling him to cancel at some of the city’s best restaurants for room service at the Watergate. All she had to do was listen for an hour or so…it was not going to change anything. Leo was a stubborn old fool and loving him did not mean it was meant to be. Better to find out sooner rather than later. Maybe it would hurt for a long time, but one day it wouldn’t. CJ wondered if his heart and stomach ached as hers did.

He reached out to caress her hand. CJ jumped, spilling wine all over the carpet.

“Oh, oh, I'm sorry.” She said.

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“It is going to stain.” She got up from the couch.

“CJ.” Leo called after her but she was already in the small kitchen.

She returned with paper towel and dish liquid. She kneeled to clean the rug.

“You are going to ruin your dress.” He said in a matter of fact tone.

“My dress will be fine…the same cannot be said for the carpet. I cannot believe you were going to let it stain.” She muttered the word men under her breath.

“Yeah. Perhaps I should be drawn and quartered. Tarred and feathered maybe?”

“Don’t tempt me Leo McGarry.” She said, going back to the kitchen.

He smiled at her back.

“Dance with me.” He said when she came back.

Carly Simon sang Give Me All Night. CJ shook her head.

“I don’t think so Leo.”

“C’mon, you love Carly Simon.”

“No, Leo.”

He took her hand anyway, leading her to the middle of the floor. he slipped one hand around her waist; took her hand in his.

“Wait.” She said.

CJ did not pull away as she kicked off her pumps. Leo danced away from them; ending up on the floor would kill the moment.

_Give me all night_  
Give me the full moon  
And if I can't take the whole of you  
Give it to me anyway 

CJ moved her hand up, instinctually caressing the nape of his neck. Leo touched her naked back. She took in a sharp breath.

“I can't do this.” CJ pulled away too quickly, stepping back and almost tumbling over her shoes.

Leo rushed to put his arms around her waist.

“Don’t!” she wrenched out of his embrace.

She began to cry. No, she thought, I won't be able to stop.

“CJ, I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to fall.”

She moved away from him, grabbed her wineglass, and excused herself to the bathroom.

***

Leo knocked softly on the bathroom door 15 minutes later.

“CJ? Dinner is here.”

No response.

“CJ?”

He knocked again. She opened the door and smiled a bit.

“I think I may have overreacted.” She said.

“No, its OK. Please come and eat.”

CJ followed him to the table, allowing him to hold her seat for her. She refilled her wine glass. Half gone, but she spilled the first glass so she was OK. He sat down across from her.

“This looks splendid.” She said.

She stuck a napkin in her lap and one in the top of her dress.

“I’m sorry CJ.”

“I need to apologize. I am so unhinged lately.” She couldn’t look in his eyes.

“Stop it, you are not unhinged. I need to say that I am sorry I let you walk out of the conference room that day. I should have thrown myself at your feet.”

“That would have been a sight.” CJ replied. “Josh would have never let you live it down.”

“Josh is afraid of me.” Leo said.

“Yeah. I forgot about that.”

“I love you Claudia Jean, and you know those are more than words. I miss you all the time…its hard to function. I was stupid in Miami, I admit that. The President’s agenda is important. As his Chief of Staff, I always have to keep it on the front burner. What I have been realizing over the past several weeks is that being the Chief of Staff is not my life. It is just a job. Loving you is my life.”

CJ ate and sipped her wine. Not only did she not know quite what to say…this was the first time in about a week that she ate a decent meal. The lobster ravioli was delicious.

“At night I reach for you and you're not there.” He said. “Good things happen, and bad things, and I can't tell you about it. I want you back CJ.”

Leo willed her to speak. He knew she wasn’t going to take him back; CJ Cregg only walked out when she was fed up. He had never handled anything as bad as he did in Miami, even when he was a drunk. If he had the power to turn back time Leo would call the press conference to announce his love for her himself.

“Please say something CJ. Just look in my eyes; I can read your eyes.”

“It broke my heart when you decided that the Bartlet Administration was more important than me.” She said.

“It is not.” Leo replied. “I can't explain what happened out there.”

“You were scared. You were scared that we would end up in People. That reporters would chase us and ask personal questions. Your personal life would have become fodder for Jay Leno. While it was hot, it might overshadow the President. Instead of admitting that, you push me away like a dark secret. Like the pills.”

“That is not exactly fair.” He said.

“Isn't it? See, you can't even admit it now. If you want to talk to me than tell me the truth.”

“I am not going to tell you what you want to hear because you're angry CJ. I want to tell you how I feel.”

“Fine.”

The way she said it sounded so final. Leo could see the door slamming in his face. He looked down at his plate…he hadn’t eaten a thing. CJ continued to eat in silence. Leo cleared his throat.

“How can I know that you won't brush me aside again when the administration needs you?” she asked.

Oh God, was that a glimmer of hope? That was a question that Leo had to ponder. Not because he didn’t know the answer, but because he wanted to be truthful.

“Ever since I sobered up I have never made the same mistake twice.” He said.

CJ smiled at that.

“You really hurt me.” She replied.

“I know. I can't even say that I won't again. And I won't say that I’ll make it up to you because I can't. I am not an easy man to be with CJ. I just want another chance, but I will understand if you cannot give me one.”

“Don’t be so damn understanding.”

“OK. I’m throwing myself at your feet if you try to leave this time.”

CJ gave him another smile.

“Maybe we can try that dance again.” She said.

“Yeah? Is Barry Manilow OK?”

He was belting out Even Now.

“Skip this song. Who made this CD anyway?”

“Margaret. Do you see how desperate I was?”

He skipped it, skipped Fleetwood Mac, and settled on Elton John. Taking her hand, they went back to the middle of the living room floor. This time CJ rested her cheek on his temple, and she did not cringe when he touched her back. They swayed slowly to the song; Something About the Way You Look Tonight. She was tipsy and did not know how long she could sway.

“Hold me tighter Leo…I might fall over.”

“Are you alright?” he pulled her closer, slipping his knee between her legs.

“I have to drink the whole bottle.” She replied.

“Nonsense. We’ll pour the rest down the drain.”

“Its Cabernet.” CJ reasoned.

He pulled away a bit; teased her lips with his.

“I could give a damn. I am kissing you now Claudia Jean.”

“Thank God.”

CJ ran her fingers through his hair as they kissed. Neither of them wanted to stop…three weeks apart transferred into a lifetime.

***

CJ rubbed Leo’s stomach, kissing it. He smiled and looked down at her.

“Good morning baby.”

“Oh, it really is.” She wrapped her leg around his. “Is it raining?”

“There is a storm out there. Didn’t you hear the thunder?”

CJ shook her head. She slept soundly for the first time since she got off Air Force One from Miami. Three quarters of a bottle of wine and makeup sex could do that for a girl. The sex was tremendous…two thumbs way up.

“What time is it?” she asked. “We don’t have to get up right away do we?”

“Its just after five, we have a half hour or so. CJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you marry me?”

“Huh?”

She sat up, pulling her arm from under Leo’s head. He almost hit his head on the wood bookshelf headboard.

“Whoa, whoa!” Leo covered his head with his hands.

He sat up too. She was looking at him, clutching the sheet to her like a virgin on her wedding night.

“Leo, I…”

“I am not asking so I can look good in your eyes…or whatever. I actually planned to ask on Air Force One back from Miami, in front of everyone, but nothing went as planned.”

“You have a ring?” CJ asked.

“Yeah. I’ve had it since Toby’s Day of Jubilee. I should have done it then, but the night got crazy.”

Too much champagne, CJ thought. She did The Jackal then she and Toby split a bottle of champagne. She ended the night in the back of Leo’s Lincoln singing Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer practically at the top of her lungs. If he knew the words, he would have joined it. It amused him.

“Oh God.” CJ mumbled as he reached into the nightstand drawer.

He opened the box. CJ stared at the rock. He had done his homework.

“Claudia Jean Cregg, will you marry me?”

She did not know what to say. There was a heavy silence in the room…thunder roared across the sky. CJ clutched the sheet tighter.

“CJ?”

“I need a minute to think. You can't just spring this on me after the past three weeks.”

“Yeah.” He closed the box. “I just love you and I want you to be my wife.”

“It will be good to tell the press we’re married. That will get them off our backs.”

“No, I would never propose to you for that reason. I want you to be my wife so I can wake up every morning and push the bangs out of your face. I want to have breakfast with you and tell you things in the evening. We…”

“We don’t have a place to live; lets start with that. I will not live in a hotel and you hate my apartment steps.”

“There is a house in Georgetown that I have an eye on. I think you are going to fall in love with it.”

“But what about…?”

She didn’t know what else to say. How could she fight this; she had been waiting months for this. Maybe she had been waiting her whole life.

“Kids?” she sputtered.

Leo put his arm around her waist, pulling her close.

“Let’s have a houseful. Little redheads with big hazel eyes and short Irish tempers.”

CJ kissed him, telling him that she loved him.

“Yes Leo. Yes.”

Leo slipped the ring on her finger. She looked at it and smiled. Then she looked at him, tears glistening in her eyes.

“We’ll have the press conference tomorrow afternoon.” Leo said, kissing her again.

***


End file.
